How many times a day do you say the those three little words? I say them all the time to my family--when we leave each other, when we hang up the phone, when we go to bed, and on and on and on. But how many times a day do you hear them? I rarely hear them back. Hubby only tells me he loves me when we finish a phone call. And my children never say it. Recently, I even resorted to asking them if they loved me. They both said yes but when I asked them to tell me, they both refused. Should I be concerned or is it just the age? I mean, I know they love me. They give me hugs and kisses and are happy to see me. They enjoy being with me. But they still don't verbally express their love.
Now, I've read Dr. Chapman's The Five Love Languages (awesome book, btw!!) so I know that we all have different ways of expressing love. Sara loves quality time. She is always wanting to play a game together or read together or just hang out together. She craves being with you. Scott is my little cuddle bug so he's looking for physical touch. He loves to crawl into the rocker next to me and just curl up in my arms. He gives the most wonderful melty hugs. Hubby tends to see acts of service as tokens of love (which is why a messy house upsets him so much).
Me? I'm multi-lingual it seems. I look to validate myself through physical touch, quality time and acts of service so I can see that each family member can show me their love in one of those ways. But I also want words of affirmation. I want to hear the "I love you". Is that so much to ask?
4 comments:
What are your kids ages? I remember hitting a point where it was embarrassing to say "i love you" to my parents. It lasted for quite a few years actually. I think you are right about your kids showing it in ways other than words. As for the hubby, I would slap him in the head. Yes, I am sure he loves you and shows it in his own way... BUT a husband should know his wife needs to hear the words. So remind with a good whack to the back of the head. That'll get his attention. ;)
Kim @ TheBitterBall
Yeah, I think a good whack is a great idea!! LOL!!!
I ditto the comment about hubby - a good whack is necessary sometimes. ;)
As for the kids...I tell my kids i-love-you all the time. I always get it back when I say it. But my son doesn't instigate too often. And Rose (4.5) says it in silly voice if she instigates it. I'd say it's probably their personality or age - I don't think it's something to worry about. Just remember, if you model it, they will come. teehee
Thanks Laurie, yeah, they show it in other ways. Just thought it odd that they don't speak it. HHhhmmmm......
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