Thursday, April 10, 2008

A good night

Sara has definitely been a challenge in recent months. Her attitude leaves much to be desired. She is defiant, impatient, whiney and most times downright ugly. I was dreading dealing with this when she hit 10 or 11 yrs. I didn’t expect to have to address it at 7 ½. She didn’t used to be like this but this school year has really brought about some changes in her. I don’t know if it is her friends that are influencing her or even sadly, us being poor role models, but I really hope we can turn her around.

Last night started out poorly with lots of attitude and picking on Scott. I tried to prepare for the worst. But after homework and dinner and showers, she came to me while Scott and Hubby played video games. “I want to read a book”. Unfortunately it was very late. “As much as I hate to say it, honey, it’s just too late.” She then climbed into my lap and snuggled. Now, Scott is the world champion snuggler, but Sara has never been much a snuggler. So I relished in the rare opportunity to be close to her and love on her. “Can we go to my room and talk?” Wow!!! What an opportunity! Again, a rare occasion to spend wanted one-on-one time with my daughter. “Yes! Yes, we can”.

In her room, I brushed her hair and we talked. We talked about school and how she thinks it’s boring. We talked about her favorite subjects and those that were hard for her. We talked about her friends—who she likes, who she doesn’t like and why, how some of her friends don’t play with her any more and how that makes her feel. It was a perfect opportunity to discuss her attitude and how she relates to others. She was very open to my advice and shared honestly with me—something that hasn’t happened in a long while.

But all good things must come to an end. It was, after all, a school night and we all needed our rest. I hugged her tight, gave her a huge kiss, told her how much I loved her and said “Good Night”. Yes, it was definitely a “good night”.


Kim said...

Sounds like the two of you got some good time together. I hope you get more moments like that soon.

Jen E said...

Thanks, Kim, so do I!

Laurie said...

Oh how precious!! Rose isn't a snuggler either (well, with me anyway - she does like to hang on Daddy though) so I know how wonderful that must have felt for you! I'm so glad you two got a chance for a good heart to heart. How has her attitude been since then?

Last time Rose was loopy for days, we had an outing for just the two of us and that seemed to fix it. But this time, it didn't work as well. I think her issues might be sleep related and we're working on getting bedtimes back to normal after weeks of being pretty late.